Obvious Warnings

What's up with all the completely obvious warnings on things these days? Are people really that fucking retarded? Also, why does our legal system allow their frivolous lawsuits to be brought to court?

In the store a couple days ago, I picked up a box of breadsticks to see if they were whole grain or not. They weren't, but right below the ingredients list it says "Contains wheat". WELL NO SHIT, THEY'RE BREADSTICKS, ONE WOULD HOPE THEY CONTAIN WHEAT.

On Pop-Tarts, the little foil packages that they come wrapped in say "DO NOT MICROWAVE IN THIS POUCH". Seriously, are people that fucking stupid? First off, anyone who's going to warm up Pop-Tarts is probably going to toast them. Second, on your package, you clearly state in both the toaster and microwave directions to remove the Pop-Tarts from the pouch. Why do you need to say it a third time?

Chainsaws inevitably have a warning on them saying "Do not attempt to stop moving blade with hands." Like anyone with half a brain is going to try that anyway. Someone would have to be fucking retarded to try to stop a moving chainsaw blade with their hands. If they seriously want to maim themselves like that, let 'em. Natural selection exists for a reason.

I'm sure any of you zero people on either Blogger or Facebook that read this have seen many more of these completely obvious warnings, so I don't really need to cover that many of them.

The annoying thing about all this is that inevitably, someone had to try to do everything that those idiotic warnings are telling you to not do. It's sad that there are so many retards out there. What's even sadder is that they will inevitably take the company to court over it, which means there are lawyers that would consider these kinds of lawsuits to be valid and judges that don't recognize them as frivolous, wasting court time and money that could be better put towards much more legitimate purposes. Sadder yet, all these lawsuits over the obvious cost corporations a lot of money, which means they have to re-do their packaging or product design to include the warning, and then they have to raise their prices to make back the money they had to pay some idiot that tried to stop a chainsaw blade with his hands.

All of this is nothing short of a colossal waste of time and money for everyone involved. How can the average American have any faith whatsoever in our country's legal system when lawyers will take McDonald's to court because people that eat there every day of the week got fat? No shit you got fat, you consume your entire day's worth of calories in one meal and inevitably don't exercise to burn off those calories and the fat that came with them. Stop wasting the legal system's resources for your own ignorant personal gain, put two and two together, and get on a fucking treadmill?

Where has personal responsibility gone? Seriously everything these days is "I got hurt, who's responsible so I can sue them?" Our neighborhood has a park behind it, with a trail to it heading up between two of the houses. Apparently our shoddily-organized neighborhood association (which was much more organized back then, and wasn't like the tyrannical ones that require you to have 13 bushes in your front yard and call the fire department when you're having a barbecue) decided that if someone hurt themselves on that trail, our neighborhood would somehow be at fault. So now we have an insurance policy for that trail. Has anyone ever made a claim to that policy? No. Has anyone ever gotten hurt on that trail? Somehow, despite its lack of maintenance, no. This is just a waste of our neighborhood's money. We shouldn't be at fault anyway since if someone falls down and hurts themselves on that trail it's their own god damned fault for not looking where they're walking.