Breakfast Burritos

I spent a while doing painstakingly delicious research trying to arrive at a good recipe and I think I've finally got it. This recipe will prepare ten of them, with a serving being one or two.

Ingredients:

• 20 strips of bacon (I use Oscar Mayer Lower Sodium Bacon, 2 strips per burrito)
• 5 eggs (one egg for every two burritos)
• 10 Tortillas (I use ¡Tam-X-íco's! whole grain tortillas because non-whole grain anything sucks)
• Shredded cheese (I use Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican, no definite amount per burrito, just "not too much". Normally I'd say there's no such thing as too much cheese, but we actually want these to roll up)
• 1/4 cup Milk (I use skim milk, because whole milk tastes weird. Doesn't scale as linearly as everything else when making more/less)

Let's go! These directions work best if you have a friend helping you, but that friend will probably want some breakfast burritos in return...

1. Start by cooking the bacon. For burrito purposes you'll want it to be chewy, not crispy. This way it doesn't interrupt the soft texture of the eggs, cheese, and tortilla.
2. While the bacon is cooking, crack the eggs into a measuring cup and add the milk.
3. Break the egg yolks and stir your eggs-milk mixture until it's consistent.
4. When the bacon is done, pour the eggs into the bacon grease and stir slowly with a spatula to scramble them.
5. Stack your tortillas on a plate, with a paper towel between each so they won't stick together. Microwave for 15 seconds. (1200 watt microwave)
6. Remove the eggs from the heat. Split them up as best you can into ten small piles. They will look too small, but that's ok. Once you put a burrito together you'll realize that one of those small piles is plenty.
   
7. Put together one burrito:
1. Put one pile of eggs on a tortilla.
2. Add two strips of bacon, and some shredded cheese. Don't go too crazy with the cheese, you'll need to be able to roll this up.
   
3. Roll up the tortilla. This can be difficult, so I'll try to explain how:
1. Push all the toppings to one side of the tortilla, then rotate the plate so the toppings are close to you. The bacon should run parallel to the edge of your counter, not perpendicular.
2. Fold over the left and right sides of the tortilla, angled so that they're folded over farther on the side with no toppings.
3. Slowly and carefully roll up the tortilla. The tapered sides should gradually un-taper, this is normal.
4. Apply slight pressure to hold the burrito together. This is only really important if the tortilla tore at all while you were rolling it up. The rest of the time it just serves to make you pace yourself.
   
4. Place the now finished burrito aside. Set it down on the flap so it won't unroll.
8. Repeat the construction and rolling process until all burritos are made.
9. Place all burritos in an oven-safe pan and bake at 350°F for 6 minutes.
10. Carefully free the burritos from the bottom of the pan with a spatula. Optionally arrange them on a serving plate.
11. Serve and enjoy. Refrigerate any extras and enjoy them later.
    

I designed these to be small enough that they can be eaten alongside other food for breakfast, but yet large enough that you're satisfied when you finish them. It's a delicate balance, and I think I achieved it.

If you want them to be bigger, that's no problem. You'll need bigger tortillas, and you should double the amount of eggs per burrito (at the least). You may find it necessary to add some more bacon to each one as well. Another viable alternative is breakfast soft tacos, in case you really suck at rolling tortillas or are just plain lazy.

Also, these things are awesome with some hot sauce on them. Choose your favorite. I go with Tortugas' Lie Habañero Peppa Sauce because it fucking rocks.

I served these to my family this morning and they were very well received. I observed seconds being taken. Of the ten I made, there was only one extra, and 5 people were eating them, including myself.