Friday, October 1, 2010


I've seen these things on the frozen aisle for a while now, but for whatever reason never picked up a package.  But Giant threw me for a loop by having basically nothing that I usually get in stock, so I got a bunch of random stuff and decided to grab a box.

First off, is Tequeños even a real Spanish word?  I popped it into Google Translate in both plural and singular form, and it draws a blank in both places, so I'm going to lean towards no.

They're pretty simple.  It's cheese wrapped in dough.  Basically a Mexican miniature mozzarella stick, except the cheese in use is only listed as "queso blanco", which just translates to "white cheese" (hey, high school Spanish is coming in handy, who'd'a thought?).  Maybe it's just a fancy name for a Mexican mozzarella cheese, I dunno.

They bill themselves on the front of the box as having "No Trans Fats", but the ingredients list includes two partially hydrogenated oils, so they're lying.

The inner packaging is ballin' out of 1990.  Seriously, styrofoam?  Did they take a lecture from BP on environmentally friendly business practices?

The directions are simple, but with a slight quirk.  Preheat oven to 450°, then turn down to 425°, bake for 12 minutes, turning them over after 6 minutes if you care about aesthetics.  Then, of course, let 'em cool down for a few minutes so you won't burn your mouth off trying to eat them.  See that phrase I boldfaced?  Yeah, that definitely isn't boldfaced in the instructions.  I missed it entirely, and it's probably the reason why every single one of mine burst open.

The box says they're made with artisan dough, but really, the dough tastes about as plain as anything normal.  The cheese is good though, and melts quite well.

The serving size is pretty darn small.  They expect you to only eat two of them.  I guess they're more intended to be made as snacks for a party or something.  But who the hell serves frozen foods as party snacks?

It's suggested on the back of the box that you dip them in something.  I broke out a jar of Tostito's Chunky Salsa, Medium level.  They're definitely better that way than plain.

Overall, I'd have to say...  meh.

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