Everything I Know About Life, I Learned From Minecraft

Random observations about the world presented in Minecraft.  With a jump break here so the main page doesn't get clogged up.

Pumpkins always come pre-carved with faces.

Jack-o-Lanterns look exactly like pumpkins until you put them somewhere.

Boats will go up waterfalls.

An iron bucket is able to withstand the heat of lava.

Pork is safe to eat raw.

There is no such thing as a fence gate.

Throwing eggs at the wall has a chance of making a chicken appear.

Mere body armor is all I need to survive an explosion.

I can fall from great heights and survive so long as the water below is deep enough or I manage to grab onto a ladder at the last second.

Obsidian is harder to mine than diamond.

There is a limited amount of lava in the world, but water is infinite.

Wood burns indefinitely.

Cows are the loudest animal in the world.

Almost anything can float in midair if you remove everything supporting it.

Demolition experts set off their explosives by punching them and running.

If you're careful, you can completely walk off of a ledge and not fall.

If you don't get out of your boat properly, it breaks and you need to make a new one.

Regardless of how skilled I am, I can still break a shovel in less than a day just from repeated use.

When exploring a cave, I can tell if there's a hidden chamber nearby by listening for creepy noises.

Anything can be used as a melee weapon in a pinch, even cloth, sand, or dirt.

If I put a painting on a wall, the painting I get is random.  If I don't like the specific painting, I can just punch it to remove it from the wall and immediately put it back on the wall to get a different painting.

Large, fearsome monsters that spit fireballs that explode upon impact and destroy terrain are powerless to destroy a simple stone structure.

Water and lava can be held up with ladders.

Grass contains wheat seeds.

Regardless of any sort of physical ability, I can easily jump one meter into the air.

The ore necessary to obtain blue dye is as rare as diamonds are and can only be found near bedrock.

Cake must be placed on the ground and walked over in order to be eaten.

Sugar cane looks suspiciously like reeds.

It's far more efficient to use a dye on a sheep and then shear the sheep than to dye individual pieces of cloth.

Squids can be found in water as shallow as two meters, even if it's a pond with no proximity to an ocean.

Boats cannot be tethered to nearby land in any way and will usually drift out to sea or go missing entirely while you're not looking, even if corralled.

Fish can be caught, but are never seen until after they are caught.

If you don't like the text on a sign you can just punch it a few times to pick it up and then put it right back where it was with your message of choice on it.