Saturday, November 22, 2014

An Exercise in Tedium

I'm playing Half-Life 2: Episode Two, and trying to get the stupid achievement for keeping the fucking gnome from the beginning of the game until the end of the game.

All is going well, but then I get a car.

Surely, there's a spot in the car where I can put the gnome and have it reliably stay in the fucking car, right?



Well, no.  Valve, in all their infinite wisdom, gives you nowhere to put the gnome in the car.  This means that every time you go around a corner, over a hill, jump, or just whenever it feels like it, the gnome falls out of the fucking car.  So regardless of what's happening around you, you have to stop, go find the stupid thing, and put it back in the fucking car.

Then, after the bit with the first Advisor, of course the game spawns the Combine's car in my car, pushing my car forwards, and ejecting the gnome from the car.  So I get through the fight after the Advisor, I have to go find the damn thing and put it in the car, WHILE UNDER FIRE FROM A FUCKING HELICOPTER.  Had enough of stroking your dicks yet, Valve?  The challenge here is to keep the gnome until the end of the game.  The tedium is getting it to stay in the fucking car.  The extra source of tedium is the completely unnecessary helicopter that rains death down upon you if you stop to look for the damn gnome after it falls out of the fucking car.  Also, you don't have any weapons with which to take down the fucking helicopter, and it's an open area, so it gets all the angles on you that it wants.

Fuck you Valve.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I moderate comments because when Blogger originally implemented a spam filter it wouldn't work without comment moderation enabled. So if your comment doesn't show up right away, that would be why.