Sandwich Bros. of Wisconsin Cheeseburgers

I had a hankerin' for a frozen hamburger and saw these in the freezer section.  My thought was "oh cool, a poor man's bierock!", and that it had just been sliced in half for show on the label.  I soon found out that this is not the case, what they tout as "6 sandwiches" is really "6 half-sandwiches".

They also say they're made with "real cheese", but they actually contain American pasteurized processed plastic cheese food product instead.  Don't try to convince me it's real cheese, it's not made the same way real cheese is made.

The directions tell you to place it "cheese" side up, wrapped in a paper towel, on a plate before microwaving it.  However, it's down to luck whether or not you can tell which side is the "cheese" side.  On some of the ones in my box it was obvious; on others the bread stuck out too far and curled over.  On the one I happened to pick first, I had to gently peel the bread back a bit to see where the "cheese" was.

As far as the microwave directions go, they actually tell you what wattage microwave they used when developing them, so that's good.  Way too many companies omit that basic information.

After microwaving (the directions are for a 1100 watt microwave, mine is 1200 watts) the bread comes out tough, which is sad, and only the beginning of the depression.  After biting in, I noted a distinct lack of flavor.  There's clearly food in my mouth and I'm eating it, but I'm not really enjoying it because it doesn't taste like anything.

So, to offer some constructive criticism, here's some ways they could be made better:

1. Don't slice them in half to sell three of them as "6 sandwiches".
2. Use real cheddar cheese and not that fake shit.
3. Make the hamburger patty actually have flavor.
4. Failing any of that, drop the price from $6 to $3 to better reflect the contents of the package.

Seriously, on that last point, I thought I was paying $1 per burger and getting a pretty good deal, but in reality I paid $2 per burger and was incredibly disappointed.  Re-read the second sentence of the first paragraph of this post for why I thought this.

The worst part: After the initial disappointment, I still had five more half-burgers to eat.  As I ate them over the course of the next week, I added mustard to each one just before eating to at least add some flavor.  It wasn't a fluke with the first one, all I ever tasted was the mustard.  It's not impossible to make a frozen burger with flavor, White Castle does it quite well.

The verdict: avoid.  They have other products which I didn't try, and I don't know if I ever will.  Mostly because I value being physically fit, but also, this wasn't a good first impression.